“Don’t criticize a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.”

I don’t have moccasins, and I’m sure I got this proverb wrong. But we’ve all heard something like this many times. Why? Because it’s a really good saying and bears repeating.

The last few days have been an opportunity for me to step in and take over many of my wife’s daily tasks. She has been sick, and thankfully is getting better. But it’s been a chance for me to walk in her moccasins.

We have a fairly “traditional” family. In other words we think we’re better than everyone else. OK, not really –God help us. But Gina’s vocation is a “keeper at home,” a wife (to one guy) and mother (to three kids: 6, 3, and a baby). It’s her self-described and long-planned for “dream job.” That is, it’s what she has always wanted to do and believes she is called to do. Dream job?

Wow, this is not an easy job. I knew that, but after walking a few days in her shoes (losing the Native American footwear theme there) I can say that my appreciation for her has grown once again.

She is an amazing woman. She has a very challenging job. That she handles it with such cheerfulness and grace (mostly…hey she is human –this is not a primer on Moralism –it’s tough) only serves to make it look easier. But she has a tough job. A good job –but not anything like easy. She is an excellent wife and mother.

I could go on and on about little particulars but I’ll just reduce my thoughts here for the sake of brevity. Here are some somewhat random expressions of things that are swimming in my mind (mostly geared towards men).

-Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. Nothing helps us understand like stepping in and stepping up.

-Contentment is a great gift, and any help in encouraging/fostering contentment is major.

-The King and Creator of the universe grabbed a towel and washed his follower’s feet. Kingdom leadership is defined by loving, humble, sacrificial service.

-Acknowledge that your wife’s job is a challenge. Recognize that she is NEVER off the clock, and that if she’s ever going to be then YOU need to make that happen.  

-If your wife is not a nag (even with a tough job) then give thanks to God and praise her. Living with a nag is like always walking around on a floor of steaming, stinking crap.

-When you do another person’s job you see all the little things they do all the time that don’t ever get noticed (and if they are quiet, humble, and faithful they may not mention them). Try to notice them out loud. We all need encouragement.

-There’s no promotion from Mom/Wife. It is the top job. So if Mom/Wife gets a positive performance review (in this life), it’s probably going to be you who does it. Do it.

-I have not been, am not, and certainly will not soon be the ideal man in such things. But I do pray and plan to keep moving forward and asking God for a humble heart on this and all things.

-The Gospel provides the only clear avenue for not trusting in our own goodness (exalting ourselves) or getting destroyed by a defeated self-loathing. We stand in Christ, or we fall.

-Men are usually something like a tyrant or an emasculated weakling in our sinful, selfish natures. Men do lead their homes –often (in these times) by their absence/passivity. Lead well in humility and presence.

-We need to pray for humble hearts. Nothing is impossible with God.