I steal this from Kevin DeYoung because I love it. And love justifies theft. In this case. Because your rules don’t apply to me.

Sometimes, when I do some mundane task around the house, I’m tempted to think, “Am I the only one who knows how to do this?”

Then I consider my wife, Gina.

It’s then I realize I could never win a “Am I the only one who knows how to do this?” pity-party contest.

Gina = God’s Mercy.

How many other areas in life am I selfishly ignorant of God’s mercy?

In no particular order…

1. To be tickled a little, but not to where it’s not fun anymore.
2. To really be talked to, not become the confusing butt of a joke for all the adults standing around.
3. To be seen and heard, not always dismissed.
4. To be identified by uplifting, affirming praise before others. “Hey Uncle John, let me tell you about this boy. This boy loves to serve others.”
5. To be given very clear boundaries.
6. Adults who enter into their imaginary realms.
7. Candy.

Pictured with his uncle and namesake 4 years ago.

My son, who has provided some giggles to readers of this blog, has been upgraded to a 4. Happy Birthday, son. He is a continual source of joy and thankfulness, and quite a wit. He has been quoted here many times (see here, here, and here, here, and here), but one of my favorite quotes from him is contained in the following note I wrote probably six months ago.

We frequently pray for humble hearts (maybe because I am learning more about myself and afraid/aware of what I am passing on to my kids). After tonight’s Bible study we prayed with open hands (as if ready to receive a gift) for the God of Abraham to give us humble hearts. After prayer my son, who is three, asked this penetrating question.

“Daddy, is us doing a humble heart God giving us a humble heart?”

I was thrilled. My son seems to understand the sovereignty of God and the responsibility of man pretty well.

My response was, “Yes. If we have a humble heart then it’s because God is answering our prayer and giving it to us.”

So, if you think about it, pray for us. What for?

Humble hearts.

Why?

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5 (etc.)

In our little, family Bible study tonight we got to the place where Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, shows up and offers Moses some advice. It’s in Exodus chapter 18.

Some of the things I observed in the passage/story/history…

Moses spoke with God. God spoke back. He was a rare man, with rare access to Yahweh in a personal way which is hard to imagine. He could inquire of God and expect a response.

Jethro comes along and sees the way Moses is governing (Moses is doing too much on his own –will wear himself out). Jethro offers some advice.

Moses does NOT say: “Listen, buddy. I speak to God, I don’t need you coming in here with your advice and telling me what you think. I moved my hand and the Red Sea parted. I struck the rock and water came out. I held up my staff and we won the battle.”

No. Moses displays a humble heart in honoring Jethro, and in listening humbly to his wise advice. He follows the advice and implements a good government.

The application part on that, like so much of the Scripture, is pretty easy. Now to obey…

Moses by Michelangelo Buonarroti

Writing is a business fraught with innumerable obstacles and marked by disappointments. No, it’s not like fighting-a-war hard, but it is simply very challenging if you are serious. That may seem silly but it won’t to anyone who has ever tried to get beyond the “I have a few ideas” stage and actually set to work. I don’t say that to garner pity (alone) but to say that it is easy to get discouraged about a lack of progress. I have been fighting that feeling off with varying degrees of success lately, and trying to keep my frustration in check. Then here comes October.

This October reminds me of last October. Last October was a good month for me in my efforts to be a “real writer.” I got my first paying gig writing fiction for West Virginia South magazine as they accepted my proposal to publish The Fledge Chronicles. The first story was published last October, “The Lion, the Bridge, and the Wardrobe Malfunction.” Since then they have continued to publish an installment of the serial in each publication. I am very thankful for Audrey Stanton, the editor of WVS, for being willing to publish the stories, and for her abundant supply of enthusiasm for them.

Last October I also debuted at the Rabbit Room, by the whimsical invitation of Andrew Peterson. I have posted two, or three times a month there (as AP requested) for the last year. It has been a joy to be in the company of such incredible artists and to get to know some of them a lot more betterer (see, writing is hard). The readers and posters over there have been a big encouragement to me, and I am so thankful to Andrew, and to the whole gang.

So, all in one month, I was being read by a lot more people and getting paid for it. Reflecting on this has been humbling for me this October. Who knows what awaits for me this October? Maybe more literary success. Maybe not. But I have reasons not to grumble.                 

Further, God seems to be kicking me in the pants with numerous exhortations to be grateful. Reminders of the mercy I’ve been given are jumping out in front of my car in a way impossible to miss. Mainly it’s the Gospel –pardon and peace with God! But it’s also babies, books, and bluegrass and many other things all singing from the same sheet music.

So October comes again. It’s another reason for skipping grumbling and going straight to gratitude. Who gets thanks? The God of Abraham.

“Don’t criticize a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.”

I don’t have moccasins, and I’m sure I got this proverb wrong. But we’ve all heard something like this many times. Why? Because it’s a really good saying and bears repeating.

The last few days have been an opportunity for me to step in and take over many of my wife’s daily tasks. She has been sick, and thankfully is getting better. But it’s been a chance for me to walk in her moccasins.

We have a fairly “traditional” family. In other words we think we’re better than everyone else. OK, not really –God help us. But Gina’s vocation is a “keeper at home,” a wife (to one guy) and mother (to three kids: 6, 3, and a baby). It’s her self-described and long-planned for “dream job.” That is, it’s what she has always wanted to do and believes she is called to do. Dream job?

Wow, this is not an easy job. I knew that, but after walking a few days in her shoes (losing the Native American footwear theme there) I can say that my appreciation for her has grown once again.

She is an amazing woman. She has a very challenging job. That she handles it with such cheerfulness and grace (mostly…hey she is human –this is not a primer on Moralism –it’s tough) only serves to make it look easier. But she has a tough job. A good job –but not anything like easy. She is an excellent wife and mother.

I could go on and on about little particulars but I’ll just reduce my thoughts here for the sake of brevity. Here are some somewhat random expressions of things that are swimming in my mind (mostly geared towards men).

-Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. Nothing helps us understand like stepping in and stepping up.

-Contentment is a great gift, and any help in encouraging/fostering contentment is major.

-The King and Creator of the universe grabbed a towel and washed his follower’s feet. Kingdom leadership is defined by loving, humble, sacrificial service.

-Acknowledge that your wife’s job is a challenge. Recognize that she is NEVER off the clock, and that if she’s ever going to be then YOU need to make that happen.  

-If your wife is not a nag (even with a tough job) then give thanks to God and praise her. Living with a nag is like always walking around on a floor of steaming, stinking crap.

-When you do another person’s job you see all the little things they do all the time that don’t ever get noticed (and if they are quiet, humble, and faithful they may not mention them). Try to notice them out loud. We all need encouragement.

-There’s no promotion from Mom/Wife. It is the top job. So if Mom/Wife gets a positive performance review (in this life), it’s probably going to be you who does it. Do it.

-I have not been, am not, and certainly will not soon be the ideal man in such things. But I do pray and plan to keep moving forward and asking God for a humble heart on this and all things.

-The Gospel provides the only clear avenue for not trusting in our own goodness (exalting ourselves) or getting destroyed by a defeated self-loathing. We stand in Christ, or we fall.

-Men are usually something like a tyrant or an emasculated weakling in our sinful, selfish natures. Men do lead their homes –often (in these times) by their absence/passivity. Lead well in humility and presence.

-We need to pray for humble hearts. Nothing is impossible with God.

1. Ignorance ought to yield to greater knowledge (especially omniscience).
2. Loving parents must do things their kids can’t possibly understand, even painful things (like discipline).
3. Loving discipline of true children (adopted or natural) should be corrective, restorative.
4. There’s no ache like a loving parent’s ache (in love and pain).
5. It’s a challenge to communicate with children who refuse to see anything but their own, selfish perspective.

Parenting is so helpful for understanding God’s perspective a little better. Can you add some more helpful inferences?

Note: This is not a picture of discipline, but of sheer goofiness (though I was pretending to throw them in a fountain).

Well my family (including me) is back from vacation (I is back). It was a grand week. Sorry about all those Disney World posts last week. From the feedback I received upon my return I am guessing that the thrills generated by those posts were not exactly trans-atmospheric. But I’ll probably lay some more out from time to time just for the sake of  My Stubbornpride, a very close friend of mine who I try to look out for no matter what.

On vacation I did not go to Disney World (because, duh, I want to live). I went to a place where no other rednecks from West Virginia ever go: Myrtle Beach.

It really was an amazing week, where God was merciful to us in many ways and showed us some incredible things. We had a blast together. There was a lot of time to spend with the kids making these cool things called memories. God allowed us to do all the things we planned to, and there were lots of fun surprises as well. I love my wife more than ever.

Seems like some revelation of wisdom should be fired off at this point starting with “On vacation God taught me that…” but really I just feel  gratitude and am aiming to direct that gratitude (and help lead my family to do the same) in a Godward direction.

God is good. He makes amazing and awesome things (the ocean –no big deal to him). He is deserving of gratitude and glory. Let it all be his.

I’ve never had a real vacation with the family, but we’re going on one soon. The beach.

I’m not sure what to do (other than make amazing sandcastles with the kids –Gina’s been promoting me as an expert to the kids, so a lot of expectation there— and generally do fun family things).

Any suggestions?

Trying to decide if I should bring writing work, or just relax and forget about it for a week (leaning that way).

Any suggestions?

Committed to trying to bring a really good book I’ve never read before.

Any suggestions?

Should I take suggestions about this stuff, or not?

Any suggestions?