During World War II my Papaw picked up a Jerome K. Jerome book in England called Idle Thought of an Idle Fellow. In my teen years, he shared it with me, saying it was the funniest thing he’d ever read. I read it, confirming my ancest-editorial position. Jerome K. Jerome was indeed a brilliant English humorist.

JK is the original LOLer.

My Papaw searched in vain in those days to find anything else by Jerome. But now, there’s the internet.

(Hugh Laurie reading!)

I’ve since had the pleasure of moving on to other JKJ gems, like Three Men in a Boat (Not to Mention the Dog). This hilarious travelog-become-novel is Jerome’s most popular book (to my knowledge). This link is a free audio version.

My cousin, Tyler, sent me this article from NPR by Julia Stuart which so rightly recommends the delights of this now-obscure author. Here is a bit. It’s not long.

As for who is better at preparing for the trip, J(erome) jokes: “When George is hanged Harris will be the worst packer in this world.” And while the dog may look like an “angel sent upon the earth,” his life’s greatest object is to “get somebody to stumble over him, and curse him steadily for an hour.”

…

A little further on he recalls a time when he was in a picturesque graveyard. Such was its loveliness, he forgave all his friends and relatives for their wickedness, but when an old man startled him out of his reverie, J threatened to slay him.

…

I’d warn against reading this book in public: You may get arrested for breach of the peace.

Click on image to enlargenify.

HT: Kim Adkins

Illustration from Caltech/NASA

Maybe someday we’ll boldly go here, to Kepler-22b.

National Geographic reports that there is a world in what they call the “Habitable Zone,” which sounds like a cool TV show and also a place where it ain’t too hot or cold.

Maybe people live, or could live, on Kepler-22b. Maybe there are monsters.

But before we deal with the possibility of life on this place, let’s deal with the name. KeplerDASH22b? Kepler-22b?

Nosir.

Let’s name this thing something rad. Winner, as usual, gets a high-five.

I’ll offer a few…um…offerings?

1. Earth is taken, right? Dang. That’s an awesome name.

2. Vandalia. One of the possible names for West Virginia (mostly), but it was not used. So, it’s available and pretty nice. Sounds like a flower, but means place of Vandals. In a good way.

3. Land. Like Earth, but slightly different. “Hey, you an Earthling?” “Me? Heck no. Please, son. I’m a Lander.” “So what?” “So, I’m totally from space.” “Oh, yeah. Right. That’s cool.” “I’m a Lander.”

4. Samistan. OK, I’m pretty tired.

Whachu got? Hit me with your best planet name. And it may not contain dashes. Unless it is a planet for people rejecting the horrifying terrors of male oppression by taking both their father’s and husband’s name.

This is true. I have just read a 1947 letter from C.S. Lewis to one Tom Riddle (pg. 718 of The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, vol. 2). The letter appears unremarkable, but in it Lewis repeats his refusal to participate in something Tom Riddle wants him to do.

Good move, Jack. Good move.

“No thanks.”

I bet you’re thinking cuss words, right? Why the [redacted] would you think that?

No, these are worse than so-called cuss words. These are words that make me want to so-called cuss.

If I…were the king…of the foreeeeeest….no one would be allowed to say these words –without fear of being put in the comfy chair and poked with the soft cushions.

The Offending Words, Corporal, if you please!

Protip
Here’s a Protip: Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever say “Protip.”

Ancient
I used to be fine with this word UNTIL MY WIFE POINTED OUT THAT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT. Now, I feel like I’m six years old every time I say it.

Absofruitly
It’s like it’s Dr. Moreau’s island and they mixed fruit with absolute. A hideous beast!

Coolio
Like that show you never liked when it was originally on, but the reruns NEVER END.

Dealio
This so-called word makes the perfectly-fine word “deal” feel like a square. It’s like those Mac-snob commercials. You’re so cool with your hands in your pockets and you look so relaxed while the pasty guy with his shirt tucked in falls all over the TV screen. So your computers are awesome and fashionable, Leo. Great job, Leo. Big Deal, Leo.

Julio
I know, this is wrong. I actually love this word/name. But I wanted another –io-ending word. (Guilt by association?) You and no one down by the school yard, I guess.

Crave
I actually do hate this word and always have. “I’m craving a bag of potato chips.” It’s revolting, like communists.

Philanderer
I feel like I am one after I say it, it’s so gross.

OK, that was silly. I’m craving your participation. What words do you hate? How dumb is it to hate certain words? What’s the dealio on that?

Watch and enjoy.

HT: Stephen Altrogge

Say what you will about them and their ability to predict the end of the world, but I love Mayannaise. Eating a sandwich without it is like a human sacrifice (where I’m the human) to me, or the end of the world.

Or maybe we’ve misunderstood their intent…

HT: 22 Words

It happened again today. I was told I look like Shel Silverstein.

Which is Sam? Which is Shel?

If only I could write like Shel Silverstein.

But he can’t write like me, either. I’m sure this is devastating news for him.

Trust me.

Buy one (or all?)of  Andy’s records here.

Every year I can’t remember why today, Boxing Day, is called Boxing Day. Then I look it up and realize people aren’t positively sure why. (Boxes for the needy seems to be the favorite.)

When I was first introduced to Boxing Day as a mere lad in the commonwealth nation of South Africa, I had the distinct impression it had something to do with all the boxes one would have after Christmas. A child’s fancy? Probably. I was likely still dazed from spending my first African Christmas swimming and eating watermelon.

Of course, it’s also St. Stephen’s Day and only the second day of Christmas. With ten more to follow!

What’s your theory on the origins of Boxing Day? Evolution? Creation? Let’s fight about it!

image via