I love our kids.

If you can’t read this (because I don’t know how to scan, but just held it up for Photo Booth) then I’ll give you the details here.

The side says “b.r. news by a. smith.” She means “Bike Riding News.”

The top says “Thumbs! Up! Josiah!”

Next line…

“aperently, Josiah is doing wonderfull,

at his bike riding skills. if he is

having trouble, he gets frustrated,

but he never gives UP!”

Pictured girls saying “yea woo!”

Bottom: “News Paper.”

HT: Todd Agnew

My niece got detention for…well, just look. 

This is sweet and funny.

HT: Andrew Mackay

Please welcome my beloved Mother, Barbara Smith…

My sainted mother-in-law taught me a lot of wise things. One of them sparked an interesting conversation recently. Mom was always telling my
children not to run in the house, jump off rocks, etc., because “Mommaw is old.”  I often tell three-year-old Luke, “nGogo [Zulu for grandmother] is
old. I can’t get down in the floor and play cars with you.”

The last visit I had, we were getting ready to play a game at the dining room table when Luke said very matter-of-factly, “nGogo, you and MKhulu
are old.” I agreed, and he continued, “You’re gonna die someday…maybe Saturday, or Wednesday, or next year.”  And with his little arms stretched out, waist level, palms up, shoulders up, head cocked to the side, he said, “What will happen then?”

I said, “Well, I will just be up in heaven, and I will say, ‘Wonder when Luke will come to visit me?’”
He looked at me with his skeptical and patient and a bit disappointed look and said, “nGogo, dead people can’t talk!”

My name is Sam Smith and I approve of the Dad Tax.

Listen, some people say it’s not fair to “steal” candy your child received on Halloween and redistribute it to your mouth, but I strenuously object. My reasons are below.

1. The Dad Tax is fair because of TV and Vending Machines. Do American kids need to eat more sugary foods? I saw concerned-looking scolds on TV say that it was bad. There were images of fat kids and vending machines in schools. Vending machines!

2. The Dad Tax is fair because of Supply and Demand. I’m the guy who drove them and walked them around in the freezing cold. I urged them to say those things that elicit a generous response: “Trick or treat” and “Thank you,” and other Close The Deal kind of language. I need some remuneration for my work. Also, (A) I’m in charge of these kids, (B) there is a supply of candy, (C) I demand some of it. Ergo ipso facto habanero.

3. The Dad Tax is fair because all dads do it. Well, almost every dad does this except those poor saps who are either on some snobby diet, or have some moral concerns. Ecclesiastes 7:16, dude. But almost all dads do it and we should. We are the 99%.

Finally, high-fructose corn-syrup is delicious.

Please support the Dad Tax. A Sam Smith administration will always make keeping the Dad Tax a top priority.

Pictured: The wealthy.

My friend is the Mr. Webb pictured below. He quipped: “Some days I wonder why I chose to be a teacher. Then a student draws you a picture and lets you know how much they care.”

My favorite: the fridge.

(Click to enlargify.)

HT: 22 Words

HT: Kevin Smith (no relation)