I feel bad that my spam filter is shutting so many people out. I’m going to make up for it by moving the best of the spammers right out here to the blog itself. Forget the comments. It’s primetime for your spammers. But only the best.

Here we go, in no particular order. Note: These are all absolutely word-for-word and are real spam comments at this site. The spam comment are presented in italics, then my own comment in not-italics. <—technically, the right term.

But first, a picture of a spammer.

—Hello! caffdeg interesting caffdeg site!

For years I said “caffde” between each word as well. See other spammers for some great, cheap, Canadian Rx.

—Fascinating…and I agree with all of it. Keep up the great work…I will undoubtedly be back shortly

Thanks, CheapBasketballJerseys. This comment undoubtedly makes me want to explore what kind of business you might be in.

—I, envy you. Your blog is much better under the maintenance and design than mine. Who to you the design did?

Brian Patton to me did it.

—Keep up the good work. Everyone is opened to there opinion. Excellent blog here, i am still reading

I’m glad your opinion is opened to how excellent my blog is. Their are few blogs like this.

—Now I have read your article and by the way I found you website on Google and I think after I read particularpost on you website especially this one I have my own comment about what should I comment on the next hang out with my girl friend, maybe today I will tell my familyabout this one and get debate.

By the way I found you comment in my Spam folder.

—Do you make funds out of this web website? just curious

None funds. Can you possibly show me how to in a few easy steps?

—Smokeless cigarettes are those cigarettes which run on battery and they desire no flame. These cigarettes include no tobacco in them and give. No batteries, no befog, use anywhere with well supplied satisfaction.

That’s where smokeless cigs and me are different. I desire a flame.

—Maintain up the very good work mate. This web site publish shows how well you comprehend and know this subject.

This is just so encouraging, mate.

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I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. I adore YOUR submit.

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Think about it some more, there’s lots of potential.

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It was an awesome awesome publish, wasn’t it? Thanks!

—This has genuinely sparked up an idea in my mind. This can be a wonderful weblog article.

Again, it comes back to potential. It can be.

—Ha, that? Truly a Seriously good suggestion. Many thanks so Very much for this!

I thought I was the only one who said, “Ha, that?” Sweet!

—I am am touched certainly more with others, but in this case I will simply keep silent

Ditto.

—Composing is a talent that you surely have. All your hard work is clearly obvious in how you express yourself through writing. Your amazing talent will always be remembered.

Validation!

Here is my pal, Aaron Roughton, with this inspirational number. Keep watching…you’ll be glad. (First I typed, “you’ll be gald.” Then I reluctantly fixed it.) Take it away, Aaron.

Or, it’s more about connection than it is about self-expression. And, of course, it depends on what we’re after. If we want people (who are not our mothers) to read us, then we need connection way more than self-expression.

I’ve never read Yancey, but I like this video (below). Especially at about the 23:20 point where he expresses how difficult writing is. As Pete Peterson said on the Story panel at Hutchmoot: “Many people say, ‘I write because I can’t not write.’ I don’t get that. I can easily not write. That’s the easiest thing in the world to not do.”

Well, he said something like that and he took the words right out of my mouth, so I’m putting them back in just as I like.

It’s easy not to write. It’s painful. On the self-same panel, Jonathan Rogers explained that when it’s easy it’s not usually worthwhile.

“I’ve written books that didn’t hurt, and to tell you the truth, they’re not all that good.” Jonathan Rogers

Well, this might have been easy to write.

OK kids, back to Yancey.

At one point he advises writers, “Don’t do it alone,” and goes on to say that there are many creative people, but:

“…they’re all into self-expression…but you don’t make a living in self expression, you make a living by connecting with people who want to pay money…to say ‘this is worth my time.’”

Good point, Phillip Yancey. Good point.

Also, you have an amazing ‘fro.

I have shared this vidya content before, but thought it might be good to do again. I thought those thoughts with the thoughts in my mind.

What if I want to shape up and ship out? The Drill Sergeants of the world have no answer for this.

Item: The secret to my success, I once thought, was in my ability to do a certain joke. There’s this situationally humorous operation. It goes like this. You happen into a situation where you find a man with piles of bananas in his hands, so many he is dropping them. You ask, with a straight face of course, “Hey, do you have any bananas?” You can change the thing to fit whatever circumstances. Basically you ask for whatever is in abundance. It was gold for me for years. But is it just me, or is this little maneuver getting really dumb? I am thinking I shall chuck the entire enterprise. Kind of a sad day, but one must move on. Stiff upper lip.

Item: Shred, White and Blue?

Item: I hate it with a passion, strongly dislike, get mildly annoyed when people who I think I’m better than do posts on Twitter, or FB, where they say “Dear  Whoever, please stop this or that. Thanks.” It could be, “Dear KFC, please hire some one who can take an order, Thanks,” or any number of smarmy things, but the “Dear..Please..Thanks” pattern is constant. My feeling? “Dear people who do that, please stop. Thanks.” I want to continue to be the biggest snob around.

Item: The happiest day of our lives…on drugs?

Fin.

Hutchmoot, the first annual Rabbit Room conference retreat gathering summit festival event, is happening this weekend in Nashville, TN. It’s the maiden voyage and I’m thrilled to be there for the breaking of the champagne bottle against the vessel. And the hoisting of the anchor.  Also, the green-faced sea-sickness.

The last time I went to Nashville it was for a basketball tournament back when I was in shape and could contribute my customary 6 or so points and 5 or so fouls per game. It must be admitted that I sometimes had more fouls than points. But, if memory serves, I think I absolutely went off for 10 in one game in Nashville. (Points, not fouls. Although, if you could have 10 fouls, who knows?)

I look forward to the event, especially to meeting in person so many of the people I have connected with in the Rabbit Room online community. I am also really honored to be inexplicably given a chance to share on the panels. I hope to demonstrate why taking such a generous risk on someone such as myself never pays off. It’s quite possible I’ll have more fouls than points, once again.

I really look forward to the concerts by AP and the Square Pegs, the address by Walter Wangerin Jr., the book release from Jonathan Rogers, and all the planned events. But I think I’m mostly jazzed for the conversation. The talks with new friends who share some of the same passions. (I refer, of course, to physical/lazy defense in basketball.)

I’m also really happy to be traveling with some great saddle-pals. Should be fun. I have no clever/cheesy, fourth reference to basketball to wrap this up. Sorry. That would have been a real score.

“I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem. It’s not the photographer’s fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that’s extra scary to me, because there’s a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He’s fuzzy. Get outta here. Gotta go.”

Mitch Hedberg

There is a character named Heck Davis in my regionally celebrated (very regional, not very celebrated) serial, The Fledge Chronicles, who makes hay of news stories like this for his conspiracy tabloid.

From a WYFF4.com news story concerning U.S. Senate candidate (in South Carolina) Alvin Greene, who won his party’s primary and will now take on Senator Jim DeMint…

The article takes a broad look at Greene and the mystery of how he won with no money, no organization and not even a computer. As he talked to the reporter about putting people back to work, Greene said:

“Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me, especially for the holidays. Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an Army uniform, Air Force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle, especially for the holidays and Christmas for the kids. That’s something that would create jobs. So you see, I think out of the box like that. It’s not something a typical person would bring up. That’s something that could happen, that makes sense. It’s not a joke.”

Greene confirmed the quote and said it was not taken out of context.

I’m shocked because…he doesn’t have a computer?

If President Obama decides to stump for his party’s guy in SC, maybe he should bring along some of these:

“I was walking down the street with my friend and he said ‘I hear music.’ As though there’s any other way you could take it in. You’re not special. That’s how I receive it too.”

Mitch Hedberg